Can you hear me?

I've just been away on Clergy retreat. Those who know me well always grin at the thought of the struggle it would be for me to maintain 3 silent days (dream on). Actually the seminars were not about being silent, but about Listening, which is hugely important in church leadership, as it is in marriage and any other relationship you care to name.

Somebody once said that we have 2 ears and one mouth so we should apportion our speaking and listening according to that ratio. But the main thing is to really listen, to give people our full attention so that we observe their non-verbal messages as well as their words - and that we respond by feeding back what we think we've heard in order to minimise misunderstandings.

Obviously it's not always possible to be face to face with people but technology now allows people to video conference which helps. In my opinion email and texting should only ever be used for a brief exchange of information but should be banned as a relationship tool as their curt communication style all too easily offends. Who hasn't regretted pressing the SEND button at some time in their life?

Some families even have slanging matches on Facebook. Cringe! Long after they've made friends everyone else remembers their stinging retorts - and of course we all know that there is 'no smoke without fire', so some of their offensive comments were bound to be based on truth, weren't they? Once posted, never forgotten - and accessible world-wide.

There really is no substitute for the personal touch. So pay someone a compliment today by giving them your undivided attention as they speak to you.

And why not try it with God? According to the book of Genesis, Adam & Eve used to walk and talk with God in the cool of the day. That privilege is still available for each one of us today - and he just loves to hear from us.

But as far as I know He doesn't do email.