Big Day, Big Debt?

The rising cost of nuptials prompted an article by Esther Rantzen in the Daily Mail this week. The title was an eye catching claim - 'A big wedding is the quickest way to the divorce court'.

Without wishing to be negative about the fancy trappings of the fairytale Big Day, I'm forced to agree that she does have a point. The sad fact is that some marriages do come unstuck before the wedding has even been paid for. And therein might well lie the problem.

It's too easy to get carried away with your credit card or a payment plan offered by eager suppliers. But starting out in married life with a massive wedding-day debt on top of a mortgage will bring unnecessary stress to any relationship. And with the average cost being quoted as £25,000 - that is (apparently) equal to an average year's salary. Esther blames celebrities and footballer's girlfriends for leading us astray with their lavish ideas, but maybe brides put peer pressure on each other. Someone has to be the one to jump off the bandwaggon.

If you get married in church it'll set you back about £300 for the ceremony and legal paperwork. That's the real cost of your wedding. The rest is just gravy.

Esther chose a simple (1978) registry office wedding with a wear-it again dress and planned the whole thing in just three weeks. 22 years later they had a big celebration and a religious blessing ceremony, which is always an option for anybody. And she points out that celebrating a happy marriage which has already succeeded seems to be a good reason for a party. Amen to that.

My own wedding in 1976 was a very simple affair. Just a quiet church ceremony with close family and a meal in a local hotel afterwards. The plan was to invite our friends and wider family to a housewarming party afterwards. Sadly some of them didn't make it to the party as they fell out with us for not inviting them to the wedding! Such is life and even the poshest event will not please everybody.

After ten years we renewed our vows in the Yorkshire village church in which we had become Christians after bringing our first child for baptism. This time the words and prayers sprang to life - as did the party afterwards and we've had lots of celebrations with that community since, though we now live 50 miles away. Being loved into a church widens your 'family' dramatically.

For our 25th wedding anniversary we invited 250 to a barn dance, which people still talk about. It's a great way of mixing relatives and friends together and works across the generations.

Our 31st wedding anniversary last week was a much more laid-back day. I had one of my regular yearnings to see the sea, so we spent the afternoon watching the sun sparkle on the Llandudno coast and ate fish and chips before heading home along the coast road. Not exactly a fairytale event but I can honestly say that Garry is still my Prince Charming as well as my best friend. That takes a different kind of investment and interest.

If you're getting married then (unless you are very rich) maybe the phrase K.I.S.S is useful advice. It stands for 'keep it simple stupid' -and I've remembered it ever since my Media HND tutors instilled it on freshers week. Why not have a look at some of the great advice from Katie Fewings the Newlyweds Ethical weddings blogger? She's got lots of superb ideas that'll help save the planet as well as your bank balance.

Getting married needn't cost the earth - or jeopardise your future happiness.