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Blessings abound
We do weddings superbly in the Church of England. At the risk of blowing our Parish Trumpet I'd go so far as to say that we are THE experts. We're also pretty good at funerals and fantastic at Thanksgivings and Baptisms (and we don't charge for these latter two services, unlike the civil naming ceremonies that are becoming popular). But what you may not be aware of is that the Church is able to offer a service of Blessing after civil marriage.
In fact you can request a Blessing service anytime throughout your marriage - perhaps to mark a special wedding anniversary or if you've been through a difficult 'rocky' patch and want to bring your relationship back on track.
If you married abroad and Granny wasn't able to attend, then you can renew your vows in church - or anywhere you like acually. There are no registers to sign so this is a service that can take place anywhere.
This was demonstrated recently by a Vicar who balanced on a bi-plane to bless the marriage of a couple who were also wobbling on wings of planes. I'm sure that was well beyond the call of duty unless that Rev loves taking risks! I knew another Vicar who loved roller caster rides and would bless people on the top of the 'Big One'. I must admit I'm happier on Terra Firma so hopefully no-one will ever ask me to pull a stunt like these - though I was once invited on a cruise through this website, but in that instance the Captain of the ship was the designated official and I had to decline.
More recently my friends Bruce & Sara Stanley were married in Cornwall and had their blessing service overlooking the sea (photos on Bruce's website www.embody.co.uk ). I've asked them to write it up for this site so watch this space. Bruce is a lifecoach and Sara teaches people to make their own wedding cake and they are both working together as event managers to help others achieve their dream day.
So if you want to ask God's blessing on your marriage the sky's the limit - literally. Do go and chat with your local Vicar and dream some dreams - we love to say yes...
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During our wedding service my vicar asked me the name of my dad (who died in 1999), indicating towards my step-dad (who was a witness at our wedding). I told him my step-dad's details (assuming that's what he wanted as my step dad was a witness at our wedding) but said 'he's my step-dad'. I was (and am) completely devestated when I saw that our wedding certificate bears my step-dad's name as my 'father'.
I've told my vicar that there was a mistake, and he says there are only two options: leaving it as it is or putting a small asterix next to my step-father's name, and writing in the margin 'for 'name of step-father' read 'name of father'. Is that really all that can be done?
I just feel the wedding certifictate is now completely worthless and can't bear to look at it. Are there any more extreme alternatives, such as getting the marriage dissolved and remarrying if it is the case that it can't be altered?
Grateful for any advice
Hi Sara
First of all your marriage is completely legal and there is no need to take such drastic measures. This is simply an administrative error that can be resolved. So relax...it is fixable.
When you first filled in a form for your banns you would have put your father's name on it. Normally the information is taken from there when filling in certificates. I'm surprised that the Vicar asked for that information verbally on the day as it is so easy to make a mistake. No=one is infallible and he was under pressure if he was doing it in situ.
In my opinion, unless your stepfather adopted you, the marriage certificate is incorrect and should not be left like that. This information is important for tracing and drawing up family information and ought to be recorded correctly.
All 3 certificates that you signed need to be the same - you can't just amend one of them - and I'm pretty sure that the right way to go ahead is to gather the witnesses back together and for the Vicar to strike out the entries in the registers and write out new entries including a new Marriage certificate with your father's name followed by (deceased) in brackets. The witnesses should then sign all three copies and a note of explanation be put in the registers along with the first marriage certificate which should have VOID written on it so that it could never be used.
It sounds as if you would be happier with this option anyway. Do go back and talk to the Vicar but I'm convinced that this information should not be left as it is. If there is any doubt the diocesan registrar would be able to advise further so ask the Vicar to consult with him or her and put everyone's mind at ease.
warm regards
Thanks, I will go back armed with this information. I know my vicar pretty well (as does my husband) so hopefully we can get it all sorted out.
Sara