Life, love and 'little' infidelities

I'm secretly praying for sunshine again tomorrow as I'm officiating at another wedding. The bride and groom are both lovely and, as we've spent quite a bit of time together, I'm getting to know them better. But it's Billy, the father of the bride, that I know well. Very well in fact, as I had a year long relationship with him last year. Every morning I woke to his whistling and singing and we offered each other mutual tea and sympathy as we discussed all manner of things.

Ha - I bet I had you going there!
Billy was the builder who built our extension, along with his top-notch team of workmen. It was a massive project that took 12 months to complete, hence the year-long relationship, that began as builder and clients and ended up by the two families becoming friends. The project was hindered by the torrential rain that fell incessantly - despite my prayers for good weather - so you can imagine the ribbing I got from the lads!

As well as being a great craftsman Billy is a very personable bloke, happily married to his gorgeous wife Janice, a proud dad of four girls and a very indulgent grandad. We felt as if we knew his family personally and apparently they felt the same about us. So it was a huge honour, when we finally met them in person, to be invited to 'marry' his daughter Sarah to Simon. It's been a long time coming but tomorrow is the day, and we had the rehearsal on Wednesday and looked through the eternal promises they are about to make in public - about loving, comforting, honouring, protecting and being faithful until death parts them.

This month's Easy Living magazine has a powerful, challenging article about faithfulness, or its ugly opposite - adultery. While recognising that having a sexual relationship with another person is the acknowledged form of adultery, the article pointed out that there is actually another way of breaking your marriage vows, which many of us have strayed into at some time or other. Financial infidelity... They quote stories of several women who have credit cards that their husband knows nothing about and who buy new clothes and pretend they've had them for ages! "What - this old thing!"

When we were rehearsing the vows I suddenly realised the truth of this article. In the marriage ceremony, at the exchange of rings, these words are spoken by both parties: "With my body I honour you, all that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you..."

I've often said that no-one can make the second half of this vow with integrity if they have a 'pre-nuptual agreement' but it is equally challenging to those of us who secrete money or goods away without the knowledge of the other. Isn't it? Oops - no more squirreling away secret hoards of emergency chocolate. From now on I'll consider sharing it with my better half. I only said consider, mind - after all no-one is perfect. Not even Virtual Vicars!

Meanwhile I'll have to stock up on tissues for tomorrow. Billy might be a strapping great builder but that bit where he has to hand over his beloved little girl caused a definate wobble on Wednesday night. When we do it for real tomorrow I anticipate a touch of the Niagra Falls. Hopefully that's the only flash flooding we'll see during the service. Billy has banned me from praying for sunshine - so please will you wing a few up for Sarah & Simon - as you cut up your credit cards!