We believe in (married) life before death

You can't have failed to notice the publicity surrounding Jade Goody and her family in recent weeks as she married her boyfriend last Sunday in a blaze of publicity. She is now spending the weekend in a hospice, but wants her two sons (aged 4 and 5) to be christened as soon as possible.

Apparently Jade came into contact with the Eastenders actress Wendy Richard whilst in hospital and they exchanged good wishes and encouragement. The media mentioned in passing that Wendy had been living with her current partner for 12 years but they married last October before she embarked on her latest cancer treatment. Wendy died this week.

I'm intrigued that marriage is suddenly important when a person is facing death. Of course it could be that it is simply a way of formalising the relationship to avoid financial complications, or to create a legal relationship with any children. But I'm not such a sceptic and I believe there is more to it than that.

One of my roles in the Church of England is that of Weddings Advocate, which simply means I answer some of the media enquiries that are directed towards the Communications department. I also get involved in Wedding Shows and chat with couples who are planning their weddings.

Through these conversations and the results of surveys, we are noticing that most people who live together do plan to marry in the future. In fact many of them are actually booking dates 3 years ahead because the need to save up, or because their chosen reception venue is booked until then.

One of the team at Church House said that people are seeing marriage as 'the crown of their relationship rather than the gateway'. I think that is a lovely phrase and it shows that people are not rushing into marriage but are doing it after much thought and consideration. So, although wedding numbers have dropped as a result, I think it is a temporary glitch and they have simply delayed things for a while.

In the wedding service we say these words:
"Marriage is a sign of unity and loyalty which all should uphold and honour. It enriches society and strengthens community. No-one should enter into it lightly or selfishly but reverently and responsibly in the sight of almighty God."

Maybe the fierce loyalty that we feel when a loved one faces death makes us want to commit ourselves to them in love for the short time they have left, and a gesture like this takes away some of the feeling of helplessness. But I'd like to think that something more profound is happening which is a holy mystery and no explanation should be demanded or expected.

Carly Simon sings: "Life is eternal, and love is immortal and death is only a horizon. And the horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight..."

My prayer is that Jade and Jack will have been blessed by their marriage vows and prayers. And as they baptise the boys they will take seriously the promises they'll be asked to make for themselves - of turning their backs on sin and evil and turning towards Christ - the light of this brief life and the hope of our resurrection and eternal life.

Just let him in Jade, he's the ultimate Big Brother and the one who can make sure you're never evicted again.

Jesus said: "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. My Father's house has plenty of room; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am...I am the way and the truth and the life. No-one comes to the Father except through me."
(Holy Bible T.N.I.V)