Getting Married in Church – The Practicalities

Getting married in the Church of England has never been easier.
There are now more choices than ever on the venue, and some churches even have attractive halls in which a couple might choose to hold their wedding breakfast – or perhaps to host a simple reception offering cake and sparkling wine to all those who came to watch the wedding, before taking close friends and family off to their chosen venue for the reception.

Read on, or download our guide as a handy PDF to print out at the bottom of the page.

In the past, couples could only marry in the local parish church, where either of them lived. If they wanted to marry elsewhere it was necessary to get themselves on the electoral roll of the church by regularly attending for a period of 6 months.

So a young person who had left home and moved away to work would have found it difficult to go back to their parent’s home and marry in their ‘home parish’, or to try and arrange their wedding at the place where Granny & Grandpa tied the knot.

Thankfully those obstacles are now in the past. The launch of the new Marriage Measure (October 2008) made it possible to book a wedding in any one of a variety of churches, provided that the Bride or Groom has a qualifying link.

A qualifying link is described as:
one of them was baptised or prepared for confirmation in the parish;
one of them has ever lived in the parish for six months or more;
one of them has at any time regularly attended public worship in the parish for six months or more;
one of their parents has lived in the parish for six months or more in their child’s lifetime;
one of their parents has regularly attended public worship there for six months or more in their child’s lifetime;
their parents or grandparents were married in the parish.

So, including the parish(es) where the Bride and Groom currently live, there are potentially dozens of choices where they would be welcomed . As a Church we love to say “Yes” and we don’t put unnecessary barriers in the way.

We love to say Yes
The Bride and Groom do not have to be baptised or confirmed and they are welcome to request a wedding even if they already have children together. It is also legally possible now to marry in church even if you have been married before and your previous partner is still living – though some Ministers are not willing to conduct a service in this instance so this does require sensitive negotiation.

Reading of Banns
A Church wedding can be arranged at fairly short notice, but we normally read Banns at three consecutive main services in the run up to the wedding at both the Bride and Groom’s local churches. This is a legal requirement to give formal notice of the intended wedding and to give anyone in the community the opportunity to object if they know of a reason why the couple may not lawfully marry.
There is one final opportunity at the wedding service to voice objections and call a halt to the ceremony, and no doubt lots of ministers hold their breath at that point in the proceedings!

Licences
Sometimes a wedding application requires a licence – if the couple live abroad for example – and there are residency requirements of 15 days before a licence can be applied for. So a visit home to plan the wedding would be the time to apply. However, a Common licence only lasts for 3 months – so the other option would be a Special Licence which needs the Archbishop of Canterbury’s approval.

This sounds like a complicated procedure but most weddings don’t need this paperwork and the Vicar will advise accordingly and will be familiar with the system.

How to Plan a Wedding
The first thing to do is determine which Parish you belong to – it’s not always obvious because parish boundaries can mean that your nearest church may not necessarily be your parish church. If you are not sure you can log onto the website www.achurchnearyou.com and enter your postcode. Usually you’ll be given details of the church including contact numbers and website link if they have one.

You’ll need to ensure that both the Church and your chosen Reception venue are available on the same day at workable corresponding times. A Church wedding can happen any day of the week (although Sundays are trickier because you’d have to work around Services) and the wedding can only take place between 8am and 6pm.

Some churches have Church office ‘surgeries’ at set times which should be displayed on the Church notice board or website. But it’s always a good idea to call into the church on a Sunday morning and join in a service. You can have a look around, meet a few of the church family, pick up a parish magazine with contact details and make an arrangement to meet with the Vicar.

More Tea Vicar?
Some couples are nervous at meeting with the Vicar for the first time because they are not sure what to expect. The reality is that the Vicar is a human being (there are no aliens in dog collars as far as we know!) and will want to get to know you and put you at ease. You may even get offered a cup of tea! Some Vicars prefer to visit you in your own home and, again, there is nothing to feel nervous about. You don’t need to cut the crusts off cucumber sandwiches – a mug of tea will do nicely.

There are certain things that the Vicar will need to know to ensure that there are no legal hitches to get in the way of your plans. He or she will need to ascertain your eligibility to marry in that church and advise you of the necessary paperwork.

You’ll want to chat about the service and choose hymns and readings. The Church of England has a website that you may find helpful. www.yourchurchwedding.org
If you go on this website you’ll be able to look at readings, pick hymns and download a sample outline of your wedding service that even has your names in it.

This will help you feel a bit more clued up and confident when you meet the Vicar – but please be aware that it is a sample service only and the Vicar may have other prayers that they prefer to use and may even want to alter the order of the service. So don’t have anything printed until you’ve talked it over and are sure that everyone agrees the format.

Choosing Hymns and Readings
You can check these out at www.yourchurchwedding.org
The church may even have some helpful paperwork and (if you go along on a Sunday) you can meet the organist who might make suggestions. Alternatively you may prefer to use CDs but do check first if the church has a sound system and run your choices past the Vicar. They may well prefer you to stick to traditional music at church and save your heavy metal music for the reception – but it’s all about negotiation.

If you visit the UK Wedding Show, held every year at GMEX in October you will find clergy from The Church of England in Manchester staffing a stand and they will be happy to give you a list of suggested hymns and readings. If in doubt think about things you sang in school assembly.

Be aware that if you use a Videographer at your wedding then any musician who plays in the service – be it organist or string quartet or whatever you decide – will charge double fees.

Printing a Service Sheet
Here is a suggestion for your Order of Service – but do check with the Minister who is conducting the service before printing anything:

Front Page the Names of Couple, date, venue

Inside
Entrance of the Bride
List music eg Trumpet Voluntary by Clarke/ Canon in D Major by Pachelbel

Welcome introduction and prayer
Rev Fred Bloggs

Hymn (words could be printed here or just title and number if using a hymn book)

The Declarations (or The Marriage if Readings and sermon are to come later)

Reading(s) eg 1 Corinthians 13 )
Address/or Sermon ) both these can go after the Marriage

The Marriage .

Hymn (words can be printed here or just title and number if using a hymn book)

Prayers ending with the Lords Prayer and The Final blessing/Dismissal
You might like to print any responses or The Lords Prayer here.

Registration of the Marriage or Signing of the Registers.
(This can take a while so if music is happening during this bit put details here)

Exit Music /or Procession from Church
eg Wedding March by Mendelssohn.

Back page might list names of the wedding party or the details of the venue for refreshments etc

Further information
We do hope you’ve found this a helpful guide. Manchester Diocese is an ‘Investor in Weddings’ and we very much want your experience of dealing with our churches and our clergy to be the best possible pastoral experience.

Your Vicar should be able to answer your questions but if you need to look through some Frequently Asked Questions then try logging onto the Church of England website at http://www.cofe.anglican.org/

There is a section on weddings under life events and a link through to our Virtual Vicar Rev Jan Harney. Alternatively you can contact her directly and pose your question at http://www.newlyweds-uk.com/

Please accept our warmest wishes for a wonderful wedding day.

Getting Married in a Church by NewlyWeds-UK is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Non-Commercial 2.0 UK: England & Wales License.