marriage in church after a foreign marriage and divorce
by James Cole | 28 May, 2008 - 10:41
Dear Resident Reverend,
I was previously married to a native German in Germany (i was serving with the Army there)in a German registry office with no church links. I also divorced in Germany after approx 5 1/2 years in 2006. Is it unreasonable that i now wish to marry my english fiance'in a church and would the German ceremony (of which there is no record of in the Marriage Register as it was never recorded here)restrict me from doing this?
My fiance' was also in no way involved in the previous divorce.
Many thanks.
Matt
Comments
Hi Matt
You will need to mention your previous marriage to the Vicar - as by law he or she needs to have sight of your decree absolute. The marriage registers will need you to be recorded as divorced rather than single. So, regardless of where you were married, it is important to talk openly and honestly about it to the Vicar.
Yes it is understandable to want to marry in church and ask God's blessing on your new relationship. And it is legally possible to do so nowadays in the Church of England , though each individual Vicar decides if he or she is (morally) willing to officiate at the marriage of a person who has been previously married. Some people struggle to facilitate a situation where someone takes vows for a second time.
However, lots of Vicars are willing to do this - especially if the new partner was not instrument in the breakdown of the previous relationship.
I hope this helps
jan
Thank you very much jan for your precious information this will people to save marriage and relationship.
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Jan,
Many thanks for your reply.
There were no vows made before God and the only word i had to say was "yes" to a long question about travelling through life that in no way incorporated anything religious.
Would this have any bearing on a vicar's decision?
Regards
Matt
Hi Matt
It may well - so make a point of mentioning all these things.
It also helps if you were not the instigator of the divorce as some ministers might feel bad for a partner who has been left alone, especially if children are involved. We are just human beings too - trying to do our jobs and be aware of the pastoral care of all parties involved. Sometimes divorced people approach us being a bit 'stroppy' or defensive - but this doesn't help the situation.
As I said, lots of Vicars are willing to go ahead with a wedding anyway on the basis that none of us are perfect and we want to show God's grace - he is much more willing to forgive and restore us than we are to ask for those things.
I think it's good that you've been able to ask those things first on this website. Go and see the Vicar with a peaceful heart and talk it through.
warm regards
jan