Church Wedding and Belief Issues!
Dear Resident Reverend
I am to be married to my wonderful fiance in spring next year. We are having a C of E wedding in my local church.
I was born and raised as C of E and even though I do not attend regularly I still consider myself a Christian.
My other half is Canadian, he was brought up in an Anglican background but religion was not important and he was told/informed very little. He is now Agnostic but completely wants a traditional wedding ceremony in church.
My local vicar has agreed to marry us in my church but has given us a questionnaire to fill in which includes the Q: Why do you want to be married in church?
Now it was hard enough for me to get into words my answer but my other half is finding it near impossible as well he doesn't know what he believes...
I don't want my vicar to decide against our church wedding but I also do not want my other half to lie in his answer!
I am very worried about this..
Any help would be enormously reassuring.
Kindest Regards
GT
Comments
Hi GT
First of all - please don't worry about this. If you live in the parish and have not been married before then the Vicar has a duty to marry you as his parishioner. Basically he can't say no - so that's the big hurdle out of the way.
It's great that your fiancee has such integrity. There is a need to be honest and it sounds as if he is trying hard to do that. His answer won't make a difference to the situation - I think this questionnaire is just a starting point for discussion and the Vicar is asking you both to consider carefully what you are about to do -which is commendable.
If he can't express a faith himself but is not hostile towards church then maybe he wants to marry in Church simply because it means so much to you as a believer. It's fine to say that.
It could also be that he is open to the idea that God exists - though he can't be sure - and if God exists he wants to come under God's blessing. That's also OK to say (In which case he might consider attending a short enquirers course to ask questions and ponder the answers - but that wouldn't be obligatory. You could also try watching some films that explore faith stories)
Don't worry. The Questionnaire is obviously doing its job or you wouldn't be writing to me. Keep an open mind and this wedding may well be a chance for you both to establish a relationship with God - which will be a blessing to everyone.
KInd regards
Jan