Dear Skyblue
You've been direct with your questions so I'll be direct with the answers. So - answering your questions in reverse...
No you don't necessarily have to attend church beforehand if you want a blessing service, though you would need to meet with the Vicar. Most of these types of service take place within a church and there are guidelines for the service though there are no set rules.
Church of England 'Prayers after a Civil Marriage' include responses from the couple and an assumption that they want God's blessing on their relationship. The service was probably written in the first place to accommodate divorcees who (in the past) were unable to marry in church.
Whilst a Vicar is obliged to conduct a wedding of parishioners who are both single - he or she can choose whether or not to do so for a divorced couple. Even if they are unwilling to do this, most Clergy are happy to take a service of blessing in their own church.
However, there is no obligation whatsoever for a member of clergy to go trundling off to someone's reception venue simply because they don't want to attend church.
Similarly it is not a foregone conclusion that they'll be willing to conduct a service if people don't believe what is being said.
So the answer to your dilemma can only come - firstly by discussion between yourselves (How willing are you both to consider each other's wishes in this situation? The answer might highlight some interesting differences in other values. Best to talk about these things now before the wedding).
Secondly - when you've had a full and frank discussion between yourselves then you'll be better equipped to talk to the Vicar but be prepared for some challenges there too.
There is another alternative. Any Christian can ask God's blessing on your marriage and these prayers can happen in the garden, at the reception etc. That way you can write your own - which could well be the best option.
Hope you can work this out to please everyone.
Over to you.
Comments
Dear Skyblue
You've been direct with your questions so I'll be direct with the answers. So - answering your questions in reverse...
No you don't necessarily have to attend church beforehand if you want a blessing service, though you would need to meet with the Vicar. Most of these types of service take place within a church and there are guidelines for the service though there are no set rules.
Church of England 'Prayers after a Civil Marriage' include responses from the couple and an assumption that they want God's blessing on their relationship. The service was probably written in the first place to accommodate divorcees who (in the past) were unable to marry in church.
Whilst a Vicar is obliged to conduct a wedding of parishioners who are both single - he or she can choose whether or not to do so for a divorced couple. Even if they are unwilling to do this, most Clergy are happy to take a service of blessing in their own church.
However, there is no obligation whatsoever for a member of clergy to go trundling off to someone's reception venue simply because they don't want to attend church.
Similarly it is not a foregone conclusion that they'll be willing to conduct a service if people don't believe what is being said.
So the answer to your dilemma can only come - firstly by discussion between yourselves (How willing are you both to consider each other's wishes in this situation? The answer might highlight some interesting differences in other values. Best to talk about these things now before the wedding).
Secondly - when you've had a full and frank discussion between yourselves then you'll be better equipped to talk to the Vicar but be prepared for some challenges there too.
There is another alternative. Any Christian can ask God's blessing on your marriage and these prayers can happen in the garden, at the reception etc. That way you can write your own - which could well be the best option.
Hope you can work this out to please everyone.
Over to you.
Jan Harney (Rev'd)
http://www.asineden.co.uk