Problems trying to find the right church within boundaries
Hi
I have recently got engaged and I am having problems trying to find a church which is right for me. There is a church across the road from me and another round the corner which previously I had presumed as my local parish churches. However when I looked at the COE website for parish borders I found out that I am not in the parish for either church.
My local parish church is actually almost 2 miles away and in a deprived socio-economic area. I wouldn't feel safe even to walk down the street alone where my parish church is. I have started attending a church which is outside my local parish and I have been told that I would have to attend for 6 months (which is fine) and would only be able to book the ceremony after 6 months. The reception venues I am interested in are already booking up for 2011 and I am worried if I leave it another 6 months then I will have to wait until 2012 or 2013.
I feel really quite upset and deterred from actually getting married in the COE just because of their "boundaries". I have always wanted a church wedding but it is so much easier to have a civil ceremony. My mother is very religious and would be devasted if I didn't get married in a church.
Is there anything that could be done? I feel really deflated and and don't want to have to wait years before I can get married.
Comments
Hi
We have a similar issue in that our local church is not in our parish (annoying i know!).
We're attending church regularly for 6 months so that we can get married there, which is not a problem, afterall, i think it would be a little wrong to get married there if i'd never stepped foot in the place before!
We havent yet met our new vicar as we both work away for half of the year. The old vicar retired just before we made our enquiries, but the Rural dean for the area very kindly pencilled the date in the diary for us, as venues for receptions we already booking up for 2011 and we didnt want to have to wait another year. Fingers crossed that the new vicar will be just as nice and honour it.
Im sure if you ask the vicar nicely he will pencil your date in.
Good luck with your wedding!
Hi
I can understand your concerns and suggest that you ask the Vicar to pencil in your date in order to keep the time slot free and then ink it in when you've attended for 6 months.
The other option is that there are other churches in which you can marry without the 6 months wait -a church in which you have a link (where your mum or granny married, or where you were baptised and/or confirmed). You'd qualify under the new marriage measure for this, which came into force at the end of October last year.
I've written about it on this site so you can check other posts or simply google it to get the full information.
Hope this helps - just to explain that the rules are set by parliament and not the Church, so try not to fall out with us :-)
Kind regards
Jan Harney (Rev'd)
http://www.asineden.co.uk