Been married before but haven't told our vicar
Hi there
I am totally ashamed and really need some help :-(
My OH and myself have just booked our wedding at our local church.
The thing is, we have both been married before and have been divorced for ten years each.
My wedding failed due to my husband leaving me and my OH left his wife due to her having an affair.
I know we should have been honest but we were so scared of our vicar saying no that we said we hadn't.
I feel horrible for telling such a lie but can't see many churches allowing us to remarry.
How and can they find out if we have....are there ways and what apart from having the wedding cacnelled are the penalties.
I love our church and we have even started attending every other Sunday as we would like to feel part of the parish and believe it only right as we are being married there.
We have sent out the invites and have made all necesarry arrangements.
Please help?
Thank you :-(
Comments
Haven't told the Vicar...
Oh dear Jayneeloulou.
I can understand your reasoning but you really need to be truthful honey!
There are two issues here. One is that a Vicar officiating really needs to have sight of your decree absolute before the service. This is a legal thing and you'll cause the Vicar problems if he or she takes the service without being assured that you are actually divorced.
The other thing is that you are expressing a desire to be part of that community and any relationship that starts with a lie is an unhealthy one. If you had not been truthful to each other about previous relationships and then found out later that you were divorced it would be a shock.
Please tell the Vicar and apologise as soon as possible. Explain your fears and I'm sure it will be understood - better to be honest.
Jan Harney (Rev'd)
http://www.asineden.co.uk