Blessing of Relationship
Dear Jan,
I think marriage in church is a wonderful thing but I am totally opposed to civil marriage in its current form in the UK for several ideological reasons. I won't go into too great depth but these include the treatment of men in family and divorce courts but mainly, as a libertarian, I cannot understand let alone support the sanction of State in personal relationships which I believe are a private matter.
However, my boyfriend (of 12 years) and I would like to make a commitment before we start a family and whilst I welcome the sacrament of marriage, i.e. the religious element, my feeling against the civil element are so strong I could not consider marriage in the Catholic Church despite the fact that we are both practising Roman Catholics. My ideal scenario would be a Catholic Wedding WITHOUT the civil element but under UK law this is not permitted even in the unlikely event of the Church supporting it.
I would therefore like to know if there are any Anglican Churches in London who would conduct a blessing for our relationship instead. I understand that some years ago, the Bishop of Lincoln commissioned a liturgy for use by those in “non-marriage relationships” (which could include cohabiting or as we are, 'Living Apart Together' heterosexual couples) enabling them to give thanks to God in church for their union.
Many thanks in advance for your response.
Jude
Comments
Hi Jude
The Bishop of Lincoln is a patron of Changing Attitudes and I guess you'll be able to find that Liturgy on their website - but I have no idea of the willingness of clergy in different areas to use it. I think the original purpose of setting it up was to offer a framework in which gay couples could affirm their friendship and commitment, whilst not creating a look-alike marriage service.
Anglican Priests are the only ministers of religion who are also registrars so it's interesting that you want to come to us but don't want the legal bit. You could presumably go to a baptist church or other denomination for a blessing without a registrar present as they would not be needed for the kind of service you are looking for.
Clearly you have thought this through and recognise that marriage creates a different legal framework for the family. I'm not sure if this can be equally set up by the father of any children adopting them - but you will have your own views on that.
If you do want to approach the Church of England then I suggest you talk to the Vicar of the parish in which you live. Whether you are a Roman Catholic or not you are still a parishioner.
I hope this helps
Kind regards