Wording of service if too old to have children
I am a woman past child-bearing age who is getting married soon and I have a query regarding the “Alternative Services, Series One: The Form of Solemnization of Matrimony”:
a) Is it a requirement to include "First, It was ordained for the increase of mankind according to the will of God, and that children might be brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord, and to the praise of his holy name."?
b) If it is a requirement to include that above, why (just out of curiosity) is this the case, when "O merciful Lord and heavenly Father, by whose gracious gift mankind is increased; bestow, we beseech thee, upon these two persons the heritage and gift of children; and grant that they may see their children christianly and virtuously brought up to thy praise and honour, through Jesus Christ our Lord." is to be omitted where the woman is past child-bearing?
Thank you
Comments
Hi Yvonne
I'm not sure if the ASB service is used anymore - most of us use Common Worship or, alternatively, the services from 1662 Prayer Book, so take a look at the wording of the two prefaces - which are different from the one you quoted (you can find one of them on the ceremony planner at www.yourchurchwedding.org but your vicar can show you the Marriage service in his CW book.
The reason for the apparent contradiction is that the prayers are specifically for you - whereas the preface is a scene-setting speech about the nature of marriage in general. (It also makes the assumption that marriage is the only context for a sexual union but we still read it - even when the couple have several children.)
At the end of the day there are only certain words (declarations and vows) that need to be heard - by two witnesses - at a wedding in order to make it legal and the rest is a prayerful framework which provides a context for the marriage. Although we are bound by certain rules e.g. that one reading must be from the Bible, as you'd expect.
Take a look at the two common worship options with your vicar and, if you are still not comfortable, then ask him to simply omit that phrase. I can't imagine it's a hangable offence!
Warm wishes to you and I hope you have the wedding service that blesses you and your groom.
jan